


Together

by TheCatAndTheCrow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Kinda?, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, i tweaked the prompt slightly, its not really fluffy until the end soooo, oh hooray for insecurities, prompt "how could anyone be afraid of love", the writing is iffy i wrote it at 2am like, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCatAndTheCrow/pseuds/TheCatAndTheCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: "How could anyone be afraid of love?" Kuroo and Kenma have their first major fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Together

**Author's Note:**

> prompt sent into my tumblr by trulymadlymj. :) Idk what this fic even is, I'm hella tired and I hope you all have a lovely day!! -Cat

The atmosphere was full of dread. Full of the regret that came with wishing words unsaid even as they seem to sluggishly move through the air, as if to taunt him, as if his own words were snickering, “You can’t catch me! You can’t catch me!”

But words do not, in fact, move sluggishly. They don’t move like a snail, they move like lightning and they both knew it. Kenma knew it by how quickly his stomach turned over and he knew it by the anxious shake in his hands. His whole body felt like a disheartened sigh. 

“Oh.” 

It was the kind of exhale one makes when they were having a perfectly fine day, and then suddenly, they realize something and they feel their mind go blank as that crushing realization squeezes the air out of their lungs. Tears prickle at their eyes and it feels like their whole body has turned to lead and the only thing that they can do to express the crushing pressure against their ribcage is to exhale a one syllable to show the violent churning in their mind and heart. 

“Oh.”

That was Kenma’s only response before he turned and fled to his room, his throat felt like it was closing him off from the air. He bit his lip, struggling to remain composed even as he felt he was being crushed from the inside. 

Kenma didn’t think he had much of a right to react this way; he felt dramatic and foolish and he thought that Kuroo deserved much better than this. Kuroo probably thought so too. Kenma didn’t even clench his fists, or scream or cry, even though the tension in his chest and back made him wish he could squirm out of his skin. He just stood in his room, facing the bed they shared as he cried silently. 

\-----

Kuroo knew that words moved quickly, too. He felt the words fly out of his mouth, thoughtlessly. He watched them strike Kenma—like lightning—and saw the electricity jolt through him as his entire body went rigid. Kenma exhaled, then blinked once, and then again. Kenma turned and moved towards the bedroom slowly, like he was so stunned by the words that the connection between his mind and his limbs became disjointed. Kuroo went to move towards Kenma--reaching as the floorboards creaked ever so slightly--but Kenma froze uncomfortably when he heard Kuroo’s steps. 

Kuroo opened his mouth, wanting to apologize for yelling and for the words themselves. He hadn’t meant them to sound so harsh. But the words were born of frustration and exhaustion, and there was no other way for them to sound. It was not for lack of love for Kenma that he had said it, but it was for a lack of understanding him. A brief moment of selfish thoughtlessness, and here they were. No words left his lips, and Kenma walked away.

Kenma, crying without sound in front of an empty bed, and Kuroo, shaking, and crying into his hands as he sat on their well-worn couch. The thoughts that echoed in each of their minds were scarcely differentiable, mainly consisting of guilt and insecurities that they let trample their reasoning and trust in both themselves and each other. 

What rang most clearly through Kenma’s thoughts was Kuroo’s frustrated and broken voice, “Why are you so afraid of love? Just let me in. Why don’t you feel the same about me?”

He always knew that Kuroo would eventually get frustrated with him and leave, it was a thought that lingered in his mind, whispering to his doubts and insecurities; breathing life into them. He didn’t think that it would be this soon, and he didn't want it to end. He should have done better, tried harder. Kenma sniffled. His shoulders were hunched forward and his arms were crossed across his chest like his own arms were all that was holding him together. It’s not like he didn’t want to be loved. Most people wanted to be loved. Kenma did love Kuroo; he loved Kuroo more than he could ever articulate. But because of this stupid fight, Kuroo might leave. It wasn’t like Kenma enjoyed being this way, he wanted to let Kuroo in he just didn’t necessarily know how. It's not like anyone taught him how to be loved. He had always know love as something he poured into, but was never properly reciprocated. 

His stomach turned unpleasantly and his face hurt from being scrunched up while he cried. Kenma was exhausted and it was the kind of tired that he could feel in his bones. He wanted nothing more than to curl up next to Kuroo and cry into his shirt, and wanted to throw up when he realized that Kuroo might have already stormed out. Kenma wouldn't blame him, but the thought of Kuroo leaving was suddenly overwhelming to Kenma. 

He drew a shuddery breath and crept out from the bedroom, and peered around the wall of the hallway into the living room to see if Kuroo was still there. 

Kuroo was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. The fact that he hadn’t left like people always did in movies gave Kenma a little courage. 

A little courage turned out to be enough. He moved hesitantly towards the couch. He sat down next to Kuroo and let his head fall on his shoulder. Kenma started crying again: tears running across his cheeks and nose, and onto Kuroo’s shirt. He was a mess. Kuroo turned slightly and let his cheek rest lightly on Kenma’s. hair. Kuroo’s eyes were red and his nose was running a little. Kenma wiped his face a little, trying to look less pathetic in his mind's eye. Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma’s waist and pulled him closer, his hold was loose enough for Kenma to squirm away if he wanted to, but Kenma stayed. Kenma turned a little so he could press his forehead to Kuroo's chest. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He sniffled, barely able to get the words out of his mouth. 

“No.” Kuroo replied in a raspy, quiet tone, “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry Kenma.” 

Kenma just cried harder into his shirt as he felt Kuroo’s tears on his hair. They stayed like that for a long time without exchanging words. Each had so much to say, so much to explain. 

The only thing that Kenma could think to say at the moment was a shaky, “I love you.”

Kuroo sputtered a laugh through his tears and he smiled, “I love you too.”

In truth, they weren’t very good at this whole “love” thing yet. They had been friends for years and years but the transition from best friends to boyfriends was more difficult than they had anticipated. Kenma didn’t always know how to accept that someone really valued him in that way and cared about him unconditionally. Kuroo sometimes didn’t quite understand that Kenma needed to learn how to accept someone caring about him, he didn’t realize it might feel like Kuroo was being condescending when he really just wanted to make sure Kenma was alright. But at the end of the day, they had realized that even on the worst of days, even when they were selfish, thoughtless or unkind, or when they just didn’t know how to articulate what they felt, they would still rather be together than alone. 

Even if “together” meant mess and wrestling with their feelings and sometimes feeling like their chests might explode with emotion.

Even if “together” meant abandoning some old habits and letting someone in or letting someone have their space. 

Even if “together” meant crying, and crying and crying. 

Because even crying was more manageable they cried together, and that was enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is nice-receive-hinata if you feel like sending in prompts or just wanna say hi :)


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